Paper pixellated heart

This book will make you feel things

It’s about love and friendship and silliness.
It’s about pain and cruelty and anxiety.
And we’re going to have some fun.

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Madeline Parker hasn’t been alive for years.

Her mother is dead, her dad is more a theory than a parent, and her social life is as real as actual hoverboards. She’s a five-foot eight-inch industrial-strength criticism magnet, and she’s only invisible when she doesn’t want to be.

When someone she barely knows invites her to the school graduation party, she would rather eat a bowl of live spiders than attend. So, naturally, she doesn’t. Because she knows that the party is no place for a girl like her and that nothing good will come of it. She might not be the sharpest bulb in the basket, but she’s smart enough to know that.

  • Correction:

    She accepts the invitation. Yes, she accepts. No, I don’t know why. But of course she doesn’t actually go to the

  • Correction to above correction:

    She goes. God help her, she actually goes. No, I still don’t know why. But I do know it's got nothing to do with Mark Alister, A.K.A. Sportsy McPopularPants. A guy like him would never even look at a girl like her, and she knows it.

  • No one knows what’s going on anymore.

    Okay, so he does look at her. He talks to her. Yay, great, right? NO! There’s a reason she doesn’t talk to anyone! Because it’s better this way! It’s safer this way! And she still doesn’t know who left that note in her locker — the one with instructions on how she should kill herself. Yeah, that was a fun read. Totally not traumatizing at all. And for all she knows, it was him! It probably was him! He knows things about her, after all. Things he shouldn't. Who else could it possibly be?? In summary: there's no way this ends well, and I'm going to go hide now.

And the truth about Madeline Parker could either fix her, and make her worthy of being loved . . . or it could kill her.

Or both.

Book cover

Equal parts light-hearted and heartbreaking, Life Lost and Found is the story of one girl’s fight to escape a life of isolation, bullying, and anxiety, and make her life into something worth saving . . . or die trying.

The Ashes Of You, a prequel to Madeline's story, is expected in early 2022.

150% of proceeds from all sales are donated to fitting causes.
That extra 50% comes from matching donors.

Logo of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

75%: The AFSP funds research and supports those affected by suicide. And they're super good at it. Learn more over here.

25%: Funny name, big results. Also known as the Project for Awesome. Raised over $2 million in 2016 for 20+ charities including Save the Children & Partners in Health. Learn more over here.


It's at Amazon & Kobo

The e-book version is just $2.99.
That's less than a half-decent sandwich. Not too shabby!
Mmm... half-decent sandwich...

Should I Read This Book?

Hmm. Tough decision. Here are a few things to consider that might help.

you SHOULD read this book if you:

  • Ever get nervous talking to people. Or anxious. Or paralyzed with terror.

  • Enjoy terms such as "ginormously huge-gantic", "shenaniganza", and "tornadoquaking disasterfeels".

  • Have ever been the butt of a joke.

  • Ever cringe at the sudden memory of that one thing you said or did that one time and oh my gosh why would you say or do that thing??

  • Enjoy adorable love stories.

  • Are worshiped by a civilization of Lego people.

  • Play video games.

  • Worry that no one would miss you if you died.

  • Use the word "inconceivable" and it means what you think it means. (Or doesn't.)

you should NOT read this book if you:

  • Are/were the cool kid in school/college and never worry about what people think of you.

  • Look amazing. Like, all the time.

  • Have never been bullied, teased, or told that the world might be better off without you.

  • Have more friends than the country of Estonia has people.

  • Are sent into convulsive fits by the word "butterscotch". Because it's used about five times in this book. And you're probably having convulsive fits right now. Sorry. You should probably see a doctor about that.

  • Never feel hopeless or worry about anything.

  • Think "try harder" is solid advice for anyone dealing with a mental or emotional struggle.

  • Are literally on fire. You should probably see a doctor about that.

You can also read a sample below!

Read a Sample

A shiny blue star called 'Spica'

The Author Person

A.K. Williams lives on a snowy peak in the Andes mountains with a pet walrus by the name of Westley Gunderson.

Well . . . probably. Maybe. Look, I dunno, man. That's just what I was told to put here. Oh, and this too:

A.K. has a known fondness for the following random stuff: chemically exuberant sugar cereal, Doctor Who, caffeine, Sherlock, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, space-type-stuff, fantasy-type-stuff, neither-type-stuff, university campuses, John Green and his brother Hank Green (DFTBA), a thing about princesses and brides, a different princess named Zelda, Robert Downey Jr., Life is Strange, The Sims 4, and Chocodile Twinkies. You're welcome for that last one.

A shiny blue star called 'Spica'

About the Editor

LLF was edited by Katrina Van Tassell Beckstrand. There's more about her over here.